Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Big Appetites Go Hana Zen


Do you have a huge appetite? The type that cannot be satisfied with itty bitty servings served in posh restaurants? The type that can only be satiated with a huge, juicy slice of steak and a healthy serving of mashed potatoes? Well, that pretty much sums up me. I am not someone who gets satisfaction with snacks. I can only get my tummy’s fill with huge servings, and bite sizes are not my thing. Leave that to my wife or my kid, because I will definitely be grouchy the rest of the meal when I am given food in cute portions.

So, when my wife told me that she wants to spend some quality time having dinner at the water front in a restaurant called Hana Zen, I was surprised. Then, skeptical. Then, very worried. Hana Zen. That would be Japanese food, right? I must admit, I am no expert in food, but it does not take a chef or some cultured eater to know that food in Japan is not necessarily known for its large portions. Don’t they have those rolls that a grown man can just pop into his mouth and swallow in one go? Or those thin slabs of uncooked fish? Now seriously, how am I supposed to be satisfied with that?

I don’t want to overestimate my appetite or anything, but I just think it would take around 10 of those rolls to get me full. I know, you don’t really have to stuff yourself while having a romantic dinner as my wife would originally wish for, but my happiness was just at stake. Could I really enjoy the evening, even with such fancy surroundings and all (I do know Japanese restaurants are supposed to have this dainty Oriental decorations), but at the risk of sounding barbaric, I am an full-bodied adult man who expects every meal to fill the stomach more than any part of the body. And I don’t think those fancy cute rolls will do the job in satisfying my man-sized appetite, no sir.

So, right before going home to pick up my wife on our date, I did some sort of a cheat: I drove through the local diner and got myself some good ‘ole burger and fries. No way was I going through an evening with just a couple of rice rolls and slices of uncooked seafood. That just ain’t my style.  But at the same time, I don’t want to disappoint the wife with a dinner by the bay she has been harping on weeks. I have to be the pleasant, caring husband who will enjoy the sights and food instead of the grouchy one who will keep on asking, “What’s this?” every time something is served on the table.

So, we drove to this Hana Zen place on Pier 39, and I have to admit, the scenery was quite a sight. I thought to myself, this evening shouldn’t be a disappointment after all, with the cool view of the bay and my burger and fries already in tow. Then, we started ordering.  No, make that, she started ordering for the both of us and I let her while I wasn’t paying attention and I just continued admiring the view. The food arrived. She started us off with this kani salad. I thought, typical Japanese with the fresh stuff and those orange crab eggs. Nice, but nothing I’m used to. Then came tempura. Then, sashimi. Then, gyudon, then chicken teriyaki. I didn’t even notice the arrival of those rolls I had been dreading the whole time, which were apparently called maki.

Wow! There was a lot, and I mean A LOT of food, and most of them were actually cooked! By the time this dish called Hirame Usuzukuri was served, I was already pacing myself because I thought I would burst! Too much for thinking Japanese food is too fancy to make me full. It’s fancy all right, but it’s sure

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